[i post rants here. deal with it]

I love you still

I am not coming back.

I just want to be happy. But it’s harder to find it because my heart is empty. I don’t know where to go. All I could think of is how to kill myself. I know how I’ll commit suicide. I am no longer happy. There is no motivation in lifting my spirit up. I am a dead kid. I don’t feel. I am miserable. My life is slowly becoming a dead pit. I love you. But I couldn’t make you happy. Can’t you see I am dragging you in my own hell? You don’t deserve it. It’s time for you to fly—- away from me. Fly before it is too late. Go on. FLY! Don’t come back. My world is too dark and miserable.

Goodbye.

My ovaries are in pain.

I am not expecting anything from you.

It just hurts to know that you’re just making it like a regular ordinary day.

My birthday is not your birthday. 

[Hi, I know you are reading this]

Sometimes I wish this is my last birthday. I am having a hard time to move on and be happy. They’re always dragging me down. I hate my life.

26th Birthday Wish:

1. Province hopping
2. Mountaineering
3. Wall Climbing
4. Have a personal space
5. Macbook Pro
6. Iphone 4 (that’s good enough for me)
7. Watch concert of my favorite band
8. Spend sometime with my old friends
9. Learn how to drive
10. Joy ride
11. More clients, more projects!
12. Work in an international advertising agency as an Art Director
13. To have smoother skin
14. Dye my hair blue and purple
15. Learn how to fluently speak in English with full confidence
16. Ride a big balloon
17. Talk to stranger
18. Visit the prisoner
19. Reach out with old and neglected people
20. Feed the street people
21. Volunteer in an orphanage
22. Meet new friends
23. No more cyst!
24. Have a healthier life
25. Learn how to pol dance
26. Be happy!

Minsan

..mahirap maging maligaya. Pinipilit kong mag-isip ng ikaliligaya hanggang sa nagmumukha na akong tanga. Hindi ko alam kung matatawa ako dahil lang sa gusto mong maging masaya. Pero mapapaluha lang din sa masasakit na aking tunay na nadarama.

Maligayang kaarawan sa akin.

Hello Bf, it seems you found my secret blog.

Tara!